اضطراب جدایی در کودکان، آیا کودک شما به راحتی به مهد کودک می رود؟

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اضطراب جدایی به‌طور طبیعی بین سن ۶ ماهگی و ٣ سالگی رخ می‌دهد که اوج آن در سن ٢۴-١٢ ماهگی است و پس از ٢۴ ماهگی به‌تدریج کاهش می‌یابد. اضطراب کودک هنگام جدا شدن از والدین معمولاً از یک روز به روز دیگر متفاوت است، یک روز کودک هنگام جدا شدن از مادر مضطرب می‌شود،

روز دیگر به مادر می‌چسبد و غمگین است و یک روز دیگر، قشقرق راه انداخته و در مقابل جدایی مقاومت و واکنش شدید از خود بروز می‌دهد.

به‌تدریج کودک به سمت استقلال می‌رود ولی هنوز مرحله انتقالی می‌تواند مشکل باشد و برای کودک و مادر استرس‌زا باشد. 

برای کودکانی که تجربه جدایی‌های بسیار مکرر و یا بسیار اندک از مادر داشته‌اند، جدایی ممکن است اضطراب بیشتری را ایجاد کند. هرچه کودک بزرگتر می‌شود و مفهوم زمان را درک می‌کند و مدارای موفقیت‌آمیز هنگام جدایی را بیشتر تجربه می‌کند، از اضطراب او کاسته می‌شود.

عواملی که ممکن است در شدت اضطراب جدایی کودک دخالت داشته باشند شامل موارد زیر است:

•خستگی و بیماری کودک

•تغییر در عادات و برنامه‌های منزل •تغییراتی که در خانواده رخ می‌دهد مانند: تولد فرزند جدید، طلاق، جدایی والدین، مرگ و یا بیماری اعضای خانواده و …

•عوض شدن پرستار و یا مراقبین کودک •والدین معمولاً علت اضطراب جدایی نیستند ولی می‌توانند با رفتارهای خود آن‌را بدتر یا بهتر کنند.

•کودکانی که از نظر سرشتی، کودکان سخت و دشواری هستند و به تغییرات جدید، مکان و اشخاص جدید دیر عادت می کنند، بیشتر مستعد اضطراب جدایی هستند.

 

عوامل زیر می‌تواند شانس اضطراب جدایی را در کودک شما کاهش دهد:

•از سن۱۴ ماهگی به بعد در زمان‌هایی کوتاه و به‌طور گهگاه از پرستار کودک و یا شخص نزدیک دیگر استفاده کنید تا کودک را مراقبت و نگهداری کند.

این موضوع علاوه بر آن‌که کمک می‌کند تا کودک در زمان‌هایی کوتاه، دور شدن از مادر را تجربه کند، فرصتی را نیز در اختیار کودک قرار می‌دهد تا اعتماد به سایر بزرگسالان در او شکل گیرد.

•از ١٢ ماهگی به بعد کودک را وارد ارتباط با همسالان نمائید. (گر چه کودک در این مرحله معمولاً وارد بازی‌های مشارکتی نمی‌شود) و از سن ٣ سالگی می‌توانید فرصت تجربه بازی‌های گروهی را به او بدهید.

•از سن ۴-٣ سالگی کودک می‌تواند بعضی اشکال کلاس‌های پیش‌دبستانی و مهدکودک را تجربه کند، به‌خصوص برای کودکانی که زیاد به والد خود وابسته هستند. این گونه به کودکی که از اضطراب جدایی رنج می‌برد کمک کنیم:

•در ابتدا سعی کنید کودک را در زمان‌هایی کوتاه به مراقب جدید یا مهد کودک بسپارید، زمان‌هایی که بتواند تجربه‌های مثبتی را در آن‌جا داشته باشد. •قبل از آنکه کودک را در محل جدید ترک کرده و تنها بگذارید، کمک کنید تا کودک با محیط و مردم جدید آشنا شود.

•روی موارد مثبتی که در محیط جدید رخ می‌دهد متمرکز شوید، نگذارید بچه‌ها از تصور چیزهای بدی که ممکن است رخ دهد نگران شده و بترسند. •اضطراب کودک را به تمسخر نگیرید و او را به‌خاطر این ترس و اضطراب سرزنش و شماتت نکنید.

•اجازه دهید تا کودک شما بداند که می‌فهمید چقدر سخت است که انسان از کسی که تا این حد دوستش دارد جدا شود، کودک را درک کنید و بپذیرید. اما زیاد با او همدردی و دلسوزی نکنید. •تسلیم خواسته کودک نشوید و به او بفهمانید که در امنیت و سلامت خواهد بود.

•عشق، محبت و علاقه بی‌قید و شرط خود را از کودک دریغ نکنید.

•اگر کودک بزرگ‌تر است او را به کودکان دیگری که در آن محیط هستند معرفی کنید و بازی و تفریح خاصی را با آن‌ها ترتیب دهید. •انتظار آن‌را داشته باشید که در چند هفته اول ورود به مهد و یا مدرسه کودک خسته باشد و زود تحریک‌پذیر شود.

•هنگام ترک کودک او راببوسید و نوازش کوتاهی نموده و با خوشرویی از او خداحافظی کنید. مراسم خداحافظی و ترک کودک را خیلی طولانی نکنید، بر احساسات دلسوزانه خود غلبه کنید و چندین بار نروید و برگردید.

•دزدکی و یواشکی کودک را ترک نکنید.

•قبل از شروع مهد، آمادگی و یا مدرسه، تدارک کتاب، دفتر و وسایل مورد نیاز کودک را ببینید و برای فراهم آوردن آنها کودک را مشارکت بدهید.

•حتی زمانی که فکر می‌کنید مربی و یا معلم کودک شما سخت‌گیر است و یا کودک توسط کودک دیگری مورد قلدری و اذیت قرار گرفته است، او را از مدرسه و یا مهد خارج نکنید، سعی کنید مشکل را رفع نمائید.

•اگر کودک تحت هیچ شرایطی حاضر نشد به مهد یا مدرسه برود و در منزل ماند، برای او زیاد فعالیت‌های تفریحی و سرگرمی فراهم نکنید.

•در بازی‌ها با ایفای نقش، جدایی را با کودک تمرین کنید.

•پس از بردن کودک به مهد یا مدرسه مدتی آنجا بمانید، سپس کودک را با معلم یا مربی تنها بگذارید و سپس نزد او برگردید.

سخنی با مربیان و معلمان کودک:

•خود را به کودک معرفی کنید و از او دعوت کنید تا با اسباب‌بازی‌ بازی کند یا چیزی بخورد.

•اگر کودک دچار حمله هراس شده است از والد بخواهید نزد کودک بماند تا وی آرام‌تر گردد و او را با صدایی گرم ، محبت‌آمیز، راسخ و قاطع آرام کند.

•هرگز کودک را به‌خاطر اضطراب و غمگینی‌اش مورد انتقاد قرار ندهید.

توجه: در صورتی‌ که کودک موارد زیر را نشان دهد، لازم است مورد ارزیابی دقیق‌تر قرار گرفته و مشاوره تخصصی‌تر دریافت کند:

•چنانچه پس از گذشت ٢ هفته کودک هنوز آرام نگرفته است و مشکلات هنگام جدایی ادامه دارد.

•کودک صبح‌ها قبل از جدا شدن از مادر و رفتن به مهد کودک یا مدرسه شکایات جسمی مکرر مانند: سردرد، دل‌درد، سرگیجه، حالت تهوع، استفراغ، طپش قلب و … دارد.

•اضطراب جدایی به سال‌های مدرسه ابتدایی کشیده شده و با فعالیت‌های متناسب رشدی و سنی کودک تداخل دارد.

•کودک در هیچ مرحله‌ای از زندگی خود دچار اضطراب جدایی نشده است.

•امتناع از رفتن به مدرسه در بچه‌های بزرگ‌تر و نوجوانان اکثراً مطرح کننده مشکل جدی‌تری است که نیازمند کمک تخصصی است.

موضوعات :مقاله

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